One step. Mesh pink panties and padded push-up on
Her angry eyes, betrayal reflecting betrayal
Trudging home
Spinning
Wanting to re-do the night, begging pleading bargaining with my god
Wondering how deep the hurt would
Go, I find my voice, still an ally and told every trusted friends
Wanting to redo my body, looking for a cure to make her clean again and new again
Turned to every possible poison
Voice muffled with the roar and smell of alcohol, smoke and easy times…
Reemerging time and again
Listening to professionals, pastors with knowing voices, good intentions
The bright red protest inside has faded ,
The knives turning back into nerves,
Turning back on it all…
I am not immune. I am in control. I am not alone.
Step one
Grow a garden where a war zone used to be…
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